Girls Talk: House wives and side chicks (1)

By Sarah

In Nigerian, the term “side chick” is not uncommon. It’s a term used to describe the mistress, the other woman, the one who never comes home, the hidden one that no one knows, the influential one behind the scene.

It’s not limited to married people, single guys too have side chicks but the one that has proven to be a menace is between married people because side chicks are part of so many divorce cases in recent times.

In fact some side chicks have been accused of using different diabolical means to keep the man. Men are naturally polygamous in nature, but it’s not enough reason to engage in extra marital affairs.

The fact that they have side chicks does not mean they do not love their partners, men have the capacity to compartmentalize relationships.

Everything in life is about perspective. A lot of married women claim that side chicks are the reason their husbands misbehave in the house while some have described it as a blessing in disguise as the awareness of a side chick has helped shaped their marriage.

To these schools of thought, the knowledge has helped them to up their game which turned out to have a positive effect on the marriage. Each person to his own.

I’m not engaging in any blame game here, but the truth is, some house wives are the reason their husband settles for side chicks.

It is no news that some men even end up marrying the side chick as second wife. It’s also important to note that most of these ladies who fall into the category of side chicks could be singles, single moms and even married women.

Some are usually women that have attained success in their fields, learned and of good characters. Being a side chick does not make a woman a slut, and in today’s society, it’s no more a shameful thing.

Most of these ladies have their fair share of heartbreaks. Some are even divorced and have learnt from their past experiences. Like I said earlier, everything is about perspective, while a lot of married women look up to their men they do not see them as someone to be pampered like a baby.

It is however different with the side chicks. They are the ones that pamper the men. Men are like dogs, they go to where the care is on the high side. Because most side chicks have made mistakes and learnt from their past relationship, they are better able to handle such affairs.

A lot of them date married men basically for companionship as they are usually lonely or sex starved.

They know what it takes to take care of a man. They know the man is married so they do not push nor nag him, they do not disturb him with calls, they cook good food and buy expensive gifts for the man, and most importantly, they spice the relationship up with different styles of sex, they’re not scared to express themselves.

Marriage is not easy, it takes effort of both parties to keep it going. I’m not trying to shift the blame on the married women, but some married women have become too laid back in their relationship with hubby.

There’s this mentality that since he’s married to me already, he’s not going anywhere again. Some do not even bother to ask their husband personal questions about their work and other issue that affects him.

They are indifferent to milestone achievement of their husband at work or even his losses. Taking care of children can be cumbersome with being a wife, mother and work but it is what it is!

Men are babies too. This is Nigeria, men loved to be pampered, taken care of, paid attention to and at the same time wants you to be at peace with them. Most importantly they are moved by what they see, it is very important to keep impressing your husband.

Most women relax when they are married, they stop paying attention to their looks. They stop making different hairstyles and stereotype themselves to some particular hairstyles, no make up, no fixing of nails, no pedicure, no sexy undies and a lot more.

The side chick on the other hand knows how to balance being a boss lady with getting a good look, hair, nails, shoes, perfume and also cooking for the man and giving him necessary attention.

Some of these side chicks initiate dates and pick up the bills. It is not a sin if a wife takes her husband out and pays.

It’s sad to know but the truth is that some of these side chicks even proffer solution to the men in helping them in their career and some even go as far as giving these men financial support. Some wives do not have details of their husbands job, all they are interested in are; the husband bringing in money for rent, upkeep, feeding.

Some do not even know when their husband is broke. Some house wives do not know the right time to start conversation, they do not go the extra mile for their husbands all in the name of being too busy with family and work. It’s so funny that some women are so stereotyped that they don’t spice things up in bed, some don’t even shave their pubic hair, they do not research to know new sex styles, send to the husband to look forward to when he comes back.

Some see it as a sin to have oral sex or engage in some sex styles, in fact some are too religious that they don’t have sex with the husband all the time all in the name of fasting.

Men love respect, some women are too familiar with the men that they don’t even respect him anymore. To be continued next week