Why do people prefer to cry in the shower? Psychologists give reasons

If life throws you a curveball or two, you might feel tears welling up. If those tears tend to come in the shower, you’re not alone. But why is the shower cry so common…and so satisfying?

Social psychology has some answers, reports New York Magazine’s Alice Robb. Though it’s tough to actually study the act of sobbing while showering, she writes, “psychologists do have some interesting ideas about the shower-cry.”

The shower is an interesting place — I get most of my creative thinking and problem solving done in there. I’ve also done a good bit of crying in there, and before you judge, research indicates I’m not alone, and psychologists have some ideas as to why it feels so good to cry in the shower, New York Mag reports. So don’t feel bad about stepping into a steaming shower and crying your eyes out — no one will be able to see your tears, anyway!

Robb turns first to the work of psychologist Lauren Bylsma, who looked at data from 5,096 people in 35 countries to figure out where and how people cry. She found that 62 percent of self-reported crying episodes took place at home, and 35 percent of crying episodes had no witnesses. “People are most likely to cry at home and by themselves,” she told Robb. Showers often check off both those boxes.

Crying in the shower could also be interpreted as combining two comforting activities, writes Robb. Or perhaps it depends on the reason. “People who are crying out of a sense of guilt or regret may be more likely to find themselves in the shower in the first place,” she writes, citing research that shows people who are asked to remember an unethical deed are more likely to cleanse themselves with antiseptic wipes.

Furthermore, there may be evidence that crying and taking a shower can both be comforting, to some extent. Psychology professor Ad Vingerhoets told NY Mag that he and his colleagues looked at what people do to console themselves when they’re upset. Although the study hasn’t been published yet, the study claims that some of the most common ways people comfort themselves are by listening to music, crying, and making themselves warmer, like by getting snuggly under a cozy blanket or — you guessed it — taking a shower.