Oga-Madam and the house-helps
On Monday 4/7/16, I attended afternoon mass, at St Mary’s Isolo. A young, yuppie and current madam sat two pews before me with her well-suited child. My attention was actually attracted by her maid, who sat in another pew behind the woman; she had a frowning visage and forlorn look wearing a distressed 3rd class bend-down dress and a rubber slippers. The girl was materially, physically and spatially alienated; she could not even share the same seat with oga madam! There was also another small boy who looked every inch like the woman and whom from all indications, was her younger brother. This one was neatly dressed and in good shape. As we were leaving the church, it happened that the woman parked her car beside my own; she was driving a Toyota Highlander! I felt very sad. I know the picture is clear by now. An apparently well-off young woman, kits well, kits her son and brother well, dresses the maid in such a way that you know that she is a maid and then hands over the well-kept son to the care of the ill-dressed, malnourished and apparently alienated house maid!
Sometimes ago, a family friend of ours shared her experiences as a maid with somebody at Onitsha about 15 years ago. The madam, husband and children ate different dishes, seated at the dining table while they (two maids) ate different kinds of food with plastic plates and on the floor. And while they were eating, the madam would always remind them of their poor background, commenting that they never ate that type of food in their parents’ houses. They would sleep around 12midnight and wake up at 4am to help madam prepare for her business for the day. When they have had enough and decided to run away, the madam’s husband traced them to their parent’s house in the village, and collect the faded school uniforms they wore when they ran away, so as to keep them for the next maid!
To put it mildly, the treatment meted out to house-helps in recent times by their oga-madams is becoming increasingly outrageous and insufferable. We blame oga-madams because house helps are mostly under their care and even apprentices are still under their care whenever they are back from the shop. The men may well be vicariously guilty and what we have are those who support their wives, those who talk, get tired of talking and keep quiet, those who are punished for siding the house-helps and few who insist that the right thing be done and reap the ensuing crises. A review of the media-off or online- shows the enormity of atrocities that we commit against the maids. On 26/9/16, in the Alagbado area of Lagos, an oga-madam used saw to cut her maids hand and still insisted that she washed clothes with the hand. On 22/9/16, Mrs Odor Oyinyechi bathed her niece with hot water, the same thing Mrs Abukole of Abuja did to her maid for waking up late. One Mrs Williams went to the extent of using hot pressing iron and electrical cable on her maid, Kemi. The identities, pictures and details of these sad incidences are readily available and when you see some of these child-maids, you will weep
Beyond wicked physical tortures and devilish bullying, there is also social, emotional and economic subjugation. Some maids are denied food, when food is available; some are denied sleep; others are asked to sleep in the verandah or store when there is enough accommodation in the main house; most wear rags when the money for decent dresses is available. Some madams encourage their children to insult and denigrate their maids; some deny them access to education even when that was a precondition agreed with the maids parents; some use foul and obscene language on these maids, and they all know that what they are doing is evil because they cannot do it to their children or siblings.
Why do some of us do this? Because these are not our children and because they are unfortunate to come from disadvantaged backgrounds. But there are consequences for these inhuman tendencies. When these maids observe the subhuman treatment given to them, vis-à-vis the sons of the soil, they become bitter, dejected and vengeful. Yet we foolishly commit our children, our lives and everything into the hands of these maltreated maids. Any person with a sense of decency will feel embarrassed dressing in a N50, 000 laces and accompanied by a maid with N500 bend down attire. It also doesn’t make sense to handover golden kids to dirty maids dressed in rags. For our children to be well taken care of, the maids need to also be well taken care of.
Beyond that however, whatever we sow, that we shall reap (Galatians, 6:7) and whenever we sow the wind, we invariably reap the whirlwind (Hosea, 8:7).The media is awash with what we reap by our wickedness to these unfortunate human beings. You will read stories like nanny beheads little girl, maid burns down employers house, house-boy leads gang to kidnap boss son; house maid in court for stealing jewelry from employer; housemaid chops off baby’s hand in anger; Kenyan maid uses urine to cook for her boss; maid turns madams children, into beggars….Some of these house-helps are mean and pure criminals but the way we have treated them, have made some of them eager to exact a pound of flesh. Beyond harming the kids, some of them mislead and misdirect these children.
For those of us who profess to be Christians, it is unchristian to maltreat anyone, especially, somebody to whom you owe a duty of care; to whom you act in loco parentis. This is because we are all the same before God; the maids are also created in the image of God (Gen: 1:26); they are precious and honoured in His sight (Isaiah, 43:4) and they are members of our household (Acts, 16:34). Whether we are rich or poor, madam or maid, the Lord is the maker of all (Proverbs, 22:2) and slaves or free and all were made to drink of one spirit: (1cor, 12:13); they are fellow citizens in the household of God( Eph, 2:19). I am also sure that no religion encourages anybody to maltreat another because of his or her social conditions
Compare the Centurion who went out of his way to seek cure for his slave (Luke, 7:1-10) and the Amalekite General who callously abandoned his slave to die in the field because he was sick. Incidentally, it was that slave that led David and his men to where his master and his own men were staying and led to their mass slaughter (1 Sam11-20). Also, remember the story of Naaman the Syrian general. He received his healing through the instrumentality of his maid. And this would not have been if the girl had been alienated by the family. It was also his servants who persuaded him to comply by the advice of the prophet Elisha (2 Kings, 5:1-5). Indeed, proper treatment of maids is an attribute of a woman of worth who rises early to feed her household, including her maidservant(Proverbs, 31:10-31)
Treating our house-helps with decency and relating with them as fellow human beings makes common sense. When we do so, they will protect our interests and not look for opportunities to harm us or our children. Let us remember that there is Godooo, and that He is watching! In this year of mercy, let us show mercy on these less-fortunate ones, remembering the advice of St James that Judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy (James, 2:13). It is never too late to turn a fresh leaf in this regard. He who has ears…
Dr. Muo (PhD) is of the Department of Business Administration, OOU, Ago-Iwoye
