Strengthening Your Marriage

I once remembered my father asking why my husband and I were always cooked up with the children. I smiled then, but now the reality of his words hunt me. My husband and I are not unhappy or anything, but parenthood had more or less reduced us to a business partnership and we’ve been comforting ourselves with the fact that we are doing everything in our power to make life for our children comfortable and loving.

But Ngozi, you’ve been married for over 22yrs, you and your husband are like we used to know you guys back when you just got married, what’s the secret? Asked a childhood friend and this is what my mother taught me years before I married.

Tips for strengthening your marriage
A good marriage is only as good as its foundation: Most married couples are short changed in so many ways in their marriages today. A certain amount of comfort is very crucial to making a marriage heavenly. One of the best and easiest ways to strengthen your marriage is applying these rules:

  • Identifying Your Make-Up: Men, women are created differently from each other with different expectations, needs, desires, and interests. The man and woman coming together, came from different backgrounds, so it is likely that the way one spouse handles issues, might be different from the other. Spending a lifetime together identifying, understanding these differences, accommodating them and lovingly adapting to each other. That’s what marriage is about.
  • Unique Expectations: What a man wants from his marriage and spouse might be different from what the wife wants out of the marriage. Nothing is constant in a marriage, the opinion a husband or wife had at the beginning of the marriage may change because the other spouse has sold his or her ideology to the other. What should be constant in every marriage is willingness to compromise. Spending quality time identifying your spouse’s expectations and bringing them alive; keeps your marriage alive and blissful.
  • Healthy Communication: Even twins have different opinions from each other; talk less of two different individuals from different parents and backgrounds. Spending time lovingly learning how your better half communicates is victory over frustrations, hurts and disappointments; that eventually leads to a happy marriage.


Whether your marriage is experiencing hick-ups or not, learn to nip all problems in the bud, before a minor issue or problem slap’s you with separation or divorce. Remember you are all on the same side and you each need to work together for the success of marriage and home.


From our next publication we will be talking about parent-children relationships and seeing that in the introduction of this page, we said we will be dealing with all manner of relationships even with the relationship between you and your pets.

I have some very interesting questions on father – daughter relationships and mother – son relationship.

Remember, all questions, suggestions, opinions and reactions to our articles should be emailed to


I leave you with this joke.


A woman got married and her husband abused her. She remarried and husband number two walked out on her. She got married again and the third husband failed her in bed.

Finally, she put’s an ad in the paper: “Looking for a man who won’t abuse me, won’t leave me and who won’t fail me in bed.

The next day, her doorbell rings. There is a man with no arms and no legs.

MAN:        Hello, I saw your ad

WOMAN:  Tell me a little about yourself

MAN:         Well, I have no arms, so I can’t hit you. I have no legs, so I can’t

run out on you.

WOMAN:         How do I know you’re good in bed?

MAN:               I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?



Week  2 

Day 6

Love Is Not Irritable

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a country.


Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage lovingly instead of with irritation. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Day 7

Love Believes the Best

Love – Quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things.


In two (2) different sheets of paper, sincerely write out positive things on one and negative things on the other about your spouse. At some point today, pick a positive attribute from your first list and thank your spouse for having this trait.

Day 8

Love Is Not Jealous

Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire.


Determinedly become your spouse biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart and focus on the achievements of your spouse; take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Day 9

Love Makes Good Impressions

Greet one another with a kiss of love.


Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today to reflect your love for him or her. Then determinedly make it a habit come what may.

Day 10:

Love Is Unconditional

God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.


Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.



Day 11:

Love Cherishes

Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.


Meet a need of your spouse today. Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.

Day 12:

Love Lets the Other Win

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of your spouse.


Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

Join the Love Dare from week one – 10th/3/2015

Please email me the reaction(s) of your spouse on the dares.




About the author

Ihesiulo Grace

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