Entertainment Life & Style Nollywood

Destiny Brought My Husband and I Together – Foluke Daramola

She can righty be described as big, bold and beautiful. A mother of two children, she has been in the movie industry for over a decade and still strives to remain relevant. Articulate with a charming personality, Foluke Daramola who also doubles as a movie producer is married to renowned educationist turned activist, Olukayode Ezekiel Salako, both of whom are in their second marriages which they consider blissful. They both bare their minds on a myriad of issues in this interview.

 

For some time now, little or nothing has been heard about your acting career. Any particular reason for this?
I’ve been in the industry for about 19 years and I’ve done everything that I think I should as a thespian. I am also a very dynamic person who believes in the notion that the only constant thing in life is change coupled with the fact that I haven’t found any challenging script for a while now. Again, the pirates are killing us; you spend millions on movies and you hardly get it back.  Aside that fact that I just produced a new movie titled Cobweb which is yet to be released, I want to get more involved in activism because I have a passion for humanity and my country. I believe this is the time for me to give back.

 

The fad these days is for celebrities to endorse a politician of their choice. Why haven’t you been seen endorsing any?

The truth of the matter is that I’ve had reasons to make millions this period but I can say with all sense of authority that I’ve not collected a dime from the APC government even though I am convinced that there is need for change. When Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan was voted for in 2011, he didn’t give anybody a dime, people just fell in love with him. I mean we saw him as the man who said he had no shoes, we saw that he’s well read and a lot of us were sentimentally attached to his religious beliefs. But at the end of the day, I’ve not been able to feel the impact of his government. When Obasanjo was in government, the movie industry had a boost. People were farming, our local Ankara was been appreciated, we had a lot of endorsements here and there. Obasanjo will not give you money but will teach you how to fish. With no sense of animosity or bias, I think it is about time we get things right. And to get it right, I think we should try some other means. It doesn’t however mean that, if I find any PDP aspirant

who I feel like supporting, I will not support such a person. I’m not a party structured person, I’m an individual who needs something better.

 

Is it wrong for celebrities to endorse politicians?

It is very normal. Every individual has his or her own ideology, some who support PDP have their reasons. If it has benefited them fine. It is normal for any celebrity to support any political group or individual. When Obama was contesting for President, Oprah Winfrey was one of the people who supported him and because she supported him, her fans also followed suit. Because they believed in her, that automatically meant that they believed in her candidate.

 

Do you plan to delve into politics soon?

Definitely!I read International Relations at Obafemi Awolowo University for my first degree and International Law and Diplomacy for my Masters. So there is no how you can take me away from politics because I understand the intricacies of politics and my right. But I’m not in a hurry to get any position. I still want to make a difference. I wouldn’t want to be part of it now because what people will say is that, all she’s looking for is money but If there is an improvement in the standard of living in Nigeria, I will. The beauty of life is for everybody to share in love because at the end of the day, the only legacy you can leave behind is what you’ve done.

 

Would it be right to say that your love for politics is what actually endeared you to Change Agents of Nigeria, a group formed by your husband?

Yes and that is how passionate I am about this country. To everything that is about to happen, I always see beyond it besides, I am blessed with the spirit of dreams. When I met my husband and he told me about change agents and Fasholamania but I told him I won’t like to be involved in Fasholamania, but will prefer to be a change agent because I am one. Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu is a change agent because he dared to be different.

 

You recently celebrated your 2nd year wedding anniversary, what went through your mind on that day?

I felt happy.  It’s like being somewhere before, knowing how it was and you’re now somewhere else and you see things differently. What you thought could never happen to you have started happening. God has been fair to me. He has given me a second chance and blessed me with a friend in a husband.

 

What is your love story?
Well, I always say that he is my compensation. I don’t know why God has been so grateful to me because when I met him, I wasn’t thinking about marriage. I didn’t have such a fantastic experience in my first marriage. We were first good friends even before the relationship started, we shared a whole lot of ideologies together. So, when we eventually started, we both knew we felt things for each other even though we were in other relationships, because I wasn’t looking at marriage. But when his ex-wife left and it was as if I was the one that was pulling him away, I had to travel out of the country. So that they could try and sort things out. But despite all of that, he still wanted us to give our relationship a chance. According to him, he couldn’t continue to manage his relationship with his ex wife. Eventually, we decided to settle down because we are two very spiritual people. We prayed about it and I was told, he’s okay for me and the rest is history now. At some point, my mother was like, this person has been married before, is it biblically wrong or right to now marry him? So I got a chancellor who is like a friend and the person told me to go and check Mathew 17 about the Samarian woman. At the end of the day, God always gives us a second chance. I always like to put myself in other people’s position when I’m doing things. So, I’ve found joy and peace in him but one thing I don’t do is to deprive him of what he shared with his ex-wife and his children because I don’t want anybody to deprive me of that as well. My husband has brought back, confidence, contentment and value into my life. No matter how much you have, if you don’t have that companionship, you’re empty.

 

What do you love most about him?

He forgives easily. Even when we fight, Kayode will always forgive. But one thing about him is that, he’s a no nonsense person but very caring and considerate. He is also extremely brilliant and intelligent. I am not sold out on beauty or money but if you don’t have anything upstairs and you have money, you can’t sustain it because the value you have mentally to sustain it is not there. So, his brilliance did it for me. And he is romantic as well.

 

You have your own kids and he has his, how do you cope with the pressure of bringing them up together?                  

Obviously, because his kids are still young, they can’t stay with him because his wife will not allow it but I have a good relationship with them. We have five children altogether. But my kids love him, they see him as their father.

 

Your ex-husband recently remarried. What is the current state of our relationship with him?

Well, I don’t really want to go into it because it is when you’re bitter that you will talk about such things. For me, I wouldn’t wish him evil because I am happy where I am. I’m very happy. And like I always say, you agree to disagree. If God had destined me with Tunde, it won’t be like this. If he has found love somewhere else, I shouldn’t begrudge him. At the end of the day, he’s an individual and I am an individual. And while we were married, we shared fond memories, so I will just like to leave it at the fond memories we shared. I’m happy he’s married. I know the person that he’s married to. I’ve met her through fellow actress, Moji Olaiya and she’s a nice lady. So, I just wish them all the best.

 

Now in your second marriage, what will you say you’ve learnt so far when it comes to marriage?
With my first marriage, I was in a hurry to get married because my friends were getting married and I wanted to be married. But after I left my ex-husband, I had to see a Psychiatrist. I realized that before I got married to my ex, I was frigid and it affected me but because of what everybody will say about keeping my marriage and all that, I tried to hold on but it was obviously not working out. And one thing about me is that I don’t like to apportion blames. He has his own issues, I have mine. I only learn from my past, I don’t regret any of it because it is beyond regret when you have children involved.

 

What advice will you give to anyone who is of marriageable age?

Do not be in a hurry. If you notice that you both aren’t compatible or that his traits will not work well with yours, don’t think you can change him because you can’t. When you see a guy you like, weigh the bad and the good but let the good outweigh the bad. Also make your relationship or marriage value based. Get married to impact value into that man that you’re getting married to. If you’re going into that marriage because you want to collect money, you will be disappointed. But if you’re going there to give, that person will see you as an asset.

 

And to your fellow celebrities, what will be your advice?

Don’t marry your fans or someone who has too much of your time. Find someone that will truly take you for who you are. There will be lots of distractions. At that time when you’re in your husband’s house, a lot of people will just be flashing you all sort of things but they are not deep.  If it’s someone you had started with from the scratch and you know each other very well and he’s real, you will enjoy better companionship than for someone that just sees you as star. Like my husband, he said he wasn’t looking at the fact that he could ever marry me and I wasn’t even expecting it because he was a married man at the time we met but destiny brought us together.

 

Marrying Foluke is like a dream to me
–  Olukayode Ezekiel Salako.

 

Some people see you as an educationist, others, as an activist, still others prefer to relate with you as a businessman. How will you describe yourself?

By profession, I have been an educationist for over 24 years.  I run a group of schools called Bosworth College International. In 2007, I saw the need to appreciate what the Lagos State government was doing under Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola (SAN)’s administration. Before that time,  I had always been a disciplinarian and a business investor but nobody knew me despite the fact that I’m socialite. I’m a member of two social clubs and that was how I was living my life until I started Fasholamania campaign project. And that was what brought me into social advocacy.

 

You must be a such a busy man. How do you create time for yourself and family?
The bible says, there is time for everything. Living in that consciousness, I know that I must balance my time to be able to meet up with my responsibilities. I try to apportion time for everything and I try to manage it to satisfy all aspects of my life. So, I don’t have time problem at all. I have never done anything that will affect my responsibility to my wife.

 

How did you meet your present wife?
Through the activist group I started, Change Agents of Nigeria. When I started it, I needed celebrities that I could work with to help me drive the project since it is a national project. I discussed with a friend who is very close to Foluke Daramola. I had always known Foluke to be an actress, an activist, a social commentator, a human rights crusader, so I loved the choice. Luckily, the lady was able to facilitate our meeting and on the day we met, I observed that I was at peace, my mind was open. It was as if we had known each other before then. We soon began working together on the platform of Change Agents of Nigeria, and gradually, we started liking each other unconsciously. We were just good friends and very fond of each other. You know, sometimes when two people meet and both have corresponding attributes they like in each other, they just click. I had been having problems in my marriage before I met Foluke and nobody knew because I didn’t tell anybody. And all of a sudden, my wife left, not because of Foluke but I didn’t have to tell the world the reason why she left. While I was still begging my wife, all my Pastors started calling me to say that my wife leaving the house was an act of God and that I have a friend whom I shouldn’t leave as that person is my wife. I gave them the name of all my female friends including Foluke’s name and about 65 of them said, Foluke is my wife, that I should go and marry her. And that was why I had to marry Foluke in a hurry. I married her five months after my wife left the house. Naturally, a lot of people thought I was mad. They thought I didn’t know what I was doing but I believed in what God said. There is nothing I do in my life that I don’t find out about. I talked to my parents about my plan and they went to find out too and they came back with the same result. Foluke’s mother went to find out about me too. So, that was why on the day of our wedding, everybody that mattered in our family were present to endorse it. So, I got married to her and since then, we have been living peacefully. Although she can be troublesome at times, I don’t have any regret marrying her.

 

How do you feel finding love again?

I loved my first wife dearly. I can’t lie to you but the kind of affection and love I share with Foluke is deep, unprecedented and unique. The bond between us is so strong that I don’t think the two of us can separate. Nothing is going to happen to this marriage because the two of us know why we must continue to sustain it. And we must continue to love each other. So, I feel so great about Foluke and I am satisfied living with her.

 

Your ex-wife is a Deaconess and every man prays to marry spiritually inclined women. What actually went wrong?

She has been a woman of God since inception and there is no man who will not want to have such woman as wife but I’m not going to go into details of what happened between us. But one thing I know is that, it is not Foluke Daramola who sent her out of house. It is God himself. Even my ex-wife knows that she had to go when she left.

 

Is your relationship with your ex wife cordial?
I wouldn’t say I have reconciled with my ex-wife because we are not living together again. She’s still living on her own but because she has three children for me, there is no way we can continue to be enemies. We didn’t even fight before she left home. I want the whole world to know that we didn’t fight. We still talk almost every day, she’s still on my Blackberry messenger and I am still responsible for the upkeep of my children. I talk to my children and sometimes, I go to her house to pick the children and take them out, so that when people see me with the children tomorrow they won’t say I’ve dumped Foluke Daramola for my ex-wife. So, my children have a good relationship with me because they have always loved me.

 

How many children do you intend to have with Foluke Daramola?

I have told Foluke that all I want from her is just a set of twins; a boy and a girl. If she can give me that, I will continue to love her more and more. And I have told her, I’m going to buy her a car, if she can give me a set of twins.

 

How will you describe Foluke?

She is a down to earth woman who is highly principled, not wayward, not materialistic. The day I got married to her and journalists were asking me whether she got married to me because of my money, I told them that I am just an average person; not poor not rich. So, if it is because of money, Foluke won’t be here at all because I can count over a hundred men who are far richer than me asking her out. She’s a woman that loves to be on the side of value. Anything that has to do with value and integrity, Foluke will want to identify with that.

 

If you are to advise me about marriage based on your experience, what will be your advice?
Marry a woman that you’re convinced is your wife. And because we are in a ‘computer’ age, majority of the youths don’t bother to find out about who they want to marry before they go into it anymore. They get carried away with love and they end up regretting it at the end of the day. If you want to marry a woman and you’re a Christian, go and find out and if you’re a Muslim, find out too. Marry a woman that you’re spiritually convinced about. For any marriage to work, both parties must have understanding, tolerance, perseverance, communication, respect  and the love will crown it all. Don’t marry for beauty but for tomorrow. Most great men don’t achieve greatness with their first wives, they end up dropping them for second wives because they don’t marry for all these factors that I’ve told you. They marry out of sentiments, maybe when they were struggling and there was a woman who was there for them, out of sentiment, they marry her. When I married my first wife, I didn’t love her until three years after. But I was convinced I had to go into it and we lived for 13 years.

 

Can we both conclude that you married Foluke for tomorrow?

I’ve not married a woman for tomorrow. God married a woman for tomorrow for me. I didn’t even know in my life that I could marry her. It is still like a dream to us.

 

 

 

About the author

Ada Ada

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