Church expels bride over refusal to consummate marriage
An Abuja-based church, Holiness Revival Movement Worldwide, has expelled a newly married woman, Oyiza, from its congregation for allegedly refusing to consummate her marriage with her husband, Isaac.
The couple, who resided in Ibadan, Oyo State, were joined in matrimony on September 6, 2025, after completing their traditional rites in Okene, Kogi State, and a court wedding in Ibadan. Oyiza hails from Kogi State.
Trouble reportedly began shortly after the ceremony, as the bride allegedly resisted her husband’s attempts at intimacy, insisting that she did not love him. She was said to have accused her mother of coercing her into the marriage.
Saturday PUNCH gathered that efforts by both families and church leaders to mediate in the dispute were unsuccessful, as the bride allegedly maintained her stance.
In a video posted on the church’s YouTube channel in February, the International Director of the movement, Paul Rika, announced Oyiza’s expulsion after five months of failed mediation.
During the announcement, the cleric described her as a “demon” and declared that she must be punished. He accused her of spiritism and urged members to pray for her “destruction,” alleging that she had brought shame to the church.
“So, we have delivered her to Satan. We have expelled and excommunicated her. You want to bring shame, what do you mean that you don’t love Isaac?” he said.
Referencing cultural practices, Rika argued that in earlier times, new brides who wept were still compelled to go to their husbands’ homes.
“Even the harlots, do they sleep with those that love them? It’s business. So, how do you say you don’t love Isaac after accepting him, and you say you don’t love? Demon!” he added.
Isaac explained that Oyiza had initially consented when he expressed his intention to marry her, prompting the church’s marriage committee to approve the union.
However, he said that months before the ceremony, she began expressing doubts and indicated she was no longer interested, claiming she had lost feelings for him.
“I thought this could be spiritual and we should pray. The marriage committee also counselled her to go and pray. She returned and said she was convinced and that was how we proceeded,” he said.
He noted that after the traditional rites and court wedding, the situation deteriorated almost immediately.
“After the wedding, she started complaining again that she no longer had feelings for me. She had also started misbehaving, but because of the fervent love I had for her, I accommodated her deficiencies and lapses, thinking that things would change,” he said.
Isaac stated that during their stay in a hotel after the wedding, his wife declined intimacy, asking that they wait. He added that she later repeated her refusal in Ibadan.
“She would tell me almost every time, ‘No love, no joy, no peace,’” he said, adding that he became increasingly distressed.
He further alleged that she accused him of attempted rape whenever he sought intimacy and described the marriage as suffocating.
Isaac claimed that church-organised counselling sessions, including sexual guidance, did not resolve the matter.
Oyiza was not present in church to respond to the allegations, and efforts to reach her for comment were unsuccessful.
Before announcing the expulsion, Pastor Rika said his wife had a revelation that Oyiza was “a marine girl who is married to a marine demon,” claiming that a covenant prevented her from allowing any man to have sexual relations with her.
However, mental health professionals who spoke on the issue suggested possible psychological or medical explanations.
A clinical psychologist, Oluwakemi Akintoyese, said factors such as parental coercion, trauma or medical conditions like vaginismus could explain reluctance toward intimacy, stressing the need to hear the woman’s perspective before drawing conclusions.
Another psychologist, Afolabi Aroyehun, attributed the situation to gametophobia — the fear of sex — which he said could stem from traumatic childhood experiences, sexual abuse or societal pressure to marry.
A marriage counsellor, Sunday Anani, emphasised that emotional connection is fundamental in marriage.
“Sex is an emotional thing. Before the physical comes to bear, there’s first of all an emotional, heart connection. When there is no heart connection between two people, it is difficult, probably impossible, for both of them to agree that sex should happen,” he said.
Anani also questioned the decision to proceed with the marriage despite earlier reservations. “If a woman already told you she would not like sex or she doesn’t want it, why are you going ahead to marry such a person?” he added.
